A New Day in Transportation

I hear all the time about the new airport security. When I had surgery on my arm, I knew that I now had metal in my body that might set off the security alarms. So I took precaution. I took the time to go to the Doctor's office and get a card that said I have a metal implant to take to the airport with me. I was now confident that if I set off the alarm that I would just produce the card from the doctor and all would be ok.

I really did miscalculate that one. Sure enough I set off the alarm as I went through security. I was asked to step into a booth of sorts that had locks on it and I was told to set down in the chair. Of course I already had my shoes off. Remember the shoe bomber. I was beginning to worry about the underwear bomber and how that might relate to me now that I was getting extra attention. I very confidently handed her the card that the doctor's office had given me. I was told that meant nothing at all. "Anybody could get one of those", she said.

So she ran the scanner over me and the scanner lit up and made a terrible racket. I was sure everyone in the airport was looking at the new suspect. I sarcastistively mentioned that I didn't fit the profile of a terrorist. I was curtly told that "everybody fits the profile" I can understand that. The terrorist on the planes on 9/11 were after all white women in the late 60s and early 70s weren't they? Wait it is coming back to me. I remember there were no women among the group of terrorists of any race or age. So why am I a suspect?

But suspect I was. She assured me it would all be over with soon as she started scanning every part of my body. The buzzer went off as it passed over the rivits on my jeans and of course over my arm where I have the metal to put my arm back together as I told her it would. She asked me to show her where I had surgery and I started to pull up my shirt sleeve. Oh no, they didn't want to see any skin just point to the place where I have the metal. I was cleared and sent on my way with the good news that this was mild in comparison to what I could experience at some airports.

I found out what she meant at the Norfolk airport when I was boarding for my flight home. I once again set off the alarm as I walked through. I was once again directed to the "lock up" to be scanned by another charming lady that works for homeland security. My little card was once again rejected as being meaningless. This time I was treated to a complete pat down. I do mean complete.

I have learned about the new rules on flying to avoid trouble going through security. First I will never again wear shoes that tie. I will wear sandals even if it is below zero. That is a hassle. I will however continue to travel with my computer. It is too handy to have along even though I always have to take it out of the computer case. I don't travel with a bag that has to be checked. I won't travel with a bag with rollers. They have to be checked through.

I will not wear jeans. They always have a front zipper and rivits. It is embarrassing to be standing in a booth in full view of all the airport being patted down. I won't bother with the card the doctor's office gave me. That is useless. Sleeveless is good. They can readily see the scar and I hope to be more convincing. And last of all, I will no longer wear certain kinds of bras. You ladies know the ones. The one with the under wire. That was very embarassing to have a pat down because of my bra. Hope I didn't embarrass any men. Sorry if I did.

So I have thoroughly learned the new rules of travel. I already knew not to have a knife in my pocket or bring knitting needles to knit while on board. I surmised a Crockett needle would not be good news either and would probably be confiscated. Of course I knew that I would not be allowed to bring a gun aboard. That was a no brainer. I never thought my choice of bras would be an issue. It never occurred to me that jeans with rivits and zippers would cause the embarrassment of a pat down. And I will just throw that card away with all the rest of the stuff that is useless in my purse.

On my final journey on this earth I will not have to worry about airport security or embarassing pat downs on the most sensitive parts of my anatomy. I will be on that final journey with no airport security. It will be the journey everyone takes alone. I will however have a big welcoming committee waiting for me. I will have many loved one who have already gone on that journey before me.

Most of all I will have Jesus, the Son of the Living God waiting to meet me as I reach my final destination. I don't care what is said at my funeral as long it is about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and what he how he saved mankind from the pains of hell and the eternal separation from God. I don't care what songs they will sing as long as they are worship and praise for my Jesus. All I want to hear is the Lord of Lord and King of Kings say "Well done, my good and faithful servant".

May God bless and keep you in his loving care.

Regards

Mary